Until recently, very little had been known about The People's Republic of Slabovia. It is a land-locked nation located in Eastern Europe and is the last remaining Communist state in Europe. When the Iron Curtain fell, Slabovia was under it.
WORLD WAR II
World War II map production techniques caused Slabovia to be lost in the crease in most Atlases, meaning that it remains largely forgotten by the wider world. On most flat maps, Slabovia remains hidden under the symbol for Post Office.
Prior to World War II, Slabovia was ruled by a notoriously corrupt and incompetent royal family. They lived in opulent splendour while the rest of the citizens had to contend with abject poverty.
Slabovia involvement in World War II was minimal. They had been ignored (as usual) by the rest of the world. The German Army took a peek at Slabovia, but quickly decided it wasn't worth invading. However, the Slabovian Royal Family did decide to parachute a young army capitan – now General Gregory Schmerdiakov - into Berlin to infiltrate Adolf Hitler’s inner circle.
Schmerdiakov established a new identity as a female seductress, Lotte Uvula, a secretary in the Reichstag. However, when on their first date, Lotte and Hitler argued violently about football and Hitler found solace in the arms of Lotte’s best friend,Eva Braun.
Schmerdiakov returned to Slabovia and, for personal reasons, lived for a further two more years as a woman. Thus ended Slabovia’s role in any aspect of World War II.
GLORIOUS REPRESSION
In 1940 Slabovia was accidentally absorbed into the Soviet Union. However, none of Slabovian citizens seemed aware of it. The currency remained the same and it was never invited to participate in Soviet decision-making.
General Schmerdiakov seized power on the 7th March 1948 (now known as Repression Day). His breakaway military cadre seized control of the blood bank then, in a bloodless coup, real banks, government buildings, schools and hospitals. His White Pig of Destiny Paramilitary Outfit immediately imposed a 9PM curfew meaning that many bars and restaurants had to extend their opening hours in order to give people something to do until the buses stopped running. This increased opening hours (Slabovian bars and restaurants previously opened from 6AM to 4PM) had the unsought-after effect of stimulating Slabovia’s leisure industry and a period of prosperity followed.
SLABOVIA TODAY
General Schmerdiakov’s regime is singularly repressive and he rules with an Iron Fist. Every year he forces his subjects to celebrate his takeover and its subsequent re-repression. However, he is around ninety-three years old now and hopes of change were raised recently when he was admitted to hospital to have his Iron Fist replaced with a Lightweight Plastic one.
A rumour persists that The General is actually no longer alive, and that his death has not been reported so that his son, The General’s Son, can continue to rule Slabovia without challenge. The General has not been seen in public for over five years now, but his advisers insist he is in perfect health.
In 2008, The General’s Son was handed the reigns of the Slabovian Broadcasting Corporation and its online presence, Slabovia.tv. It remains to be seen how he handles the responsibility.
RELIGION IN SLABOVIA
Don't be ridiculous. Naturally Slabovia is a secular state and as the General is the Supreme Commander, there is no higher authority than he. Though there are reports that during the General's training in Cuba in the late 50's he aquired a taste for voodoo…